


What I Feel.

by Molly123Severus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gryffindor, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Yule Ball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 04:58:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12763665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Molly123Severus/pseuds/Molly123Severus
Summary: POV SeamusSimple, is so hard hide what I feel for Dean Thomas.





	What I Feel.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [banshee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/banshee/gifts).



> This is my first fan fic in English so please let a comment, let me know what you guys think.

I have been in love with Dean Thomas, since our second year at Hogwarts.  
I realized about my love during an afternoon in the winter, Dean and I were played explosive cards in the common room. At that moment, everyone at school was crazy about the petrified, and the threat of the muggle-born. So, Dean did not tell me, but that day I also knew that he was very scared.  
\- Seamus, what if we were brothers? Dean told me when was his turn to play.  
\- I do not understand, that would be impossible. I said taking the card from him, and stealing his turn. I really do not understand how it would be possible for us to be brothers, he is muggle-born and my mother has never left London magical.  
\- You do not know your father and I do not know mine. Dean said folding his arms.  
"And if your father were mine, that means I'm not a muggle, rather a half-blood."  
\- Not Dean. I said felt strange.  
\- Why not? it would be Cool, besides, I would not have to worry about being, you know, muggle-born. He said with a smile on his face.  
I know why he thinks it might be good for us to be brothers, but I do not like the idea, rather I feel that I hate the idea.  
\- I do not think so, I think it would be a catastrophe. I said gotten up the floor, I did not feel well for play anymore.  
\- Why? Dean insisted gotten up too.  
I realized he was upset about my attitude, which made me felt little bad. However, I prefer die before being Dean's brother.  
\- I don’t know. I said gone up stairs to our room.  
At first, I thought it was only a phase. I corroborate that this was not the case when Dean start talk about girls; jealousy made my stomach ache, and still burn me inside. Above all, I swear I could give my life for Dean to like the boys too.  
\- I already have a date for the Yule Ball, what about you? Dean ask me when we entered the transfiguration class.  
\- Nothing yet. I say.  
This whole dance thing makes me very nervous, I do not want to go with any girls, but I'm supposed to. I’m not telling Dean that I like him or that I like some guys, and I think I will never do it. I'm afraid of losing the friendship that we have. Once, I heard that sometimes the best friends of the Gay guys get scare and put them self away for fear that their friends are in love. Well, I'm already in love; so the best thing for me is stay quiet.  
\- What if you invite Lavender? Dean motion lower his voice, Professor Minerva McGonagall start to walk down the hall to review the homework.  
-Why? I ask him curiously.  
I don’t understand why Dean wants me to go to the yule ball. Nevertheless, the idea that Dean wants me there just to see me, is suddenly in my head.  
\- I heard that she wants to go with you. Dean says.  
\- Thomas, Finnigan. The teacher caught our attention.  
\- Hey, you must go, you cannot leave me alone. Dean says even lower.  
\- I will invite her then.  
I’m unable to say no to Dean in anything. The true if that all I want right now is been his boyfriend.  
\- Great. Dean says putting his hand on my back.  
I love when Dean touches me, innocently clear. Sometimes, I pretend that I do not have enough space on the benches in the dining room, just to get our knees to touch. Also, I ask him to lend me a pen or a parchment, for the sole purpose of let our hands touch a little bit. One time, in a Quidditch game, our team was playing too well, we were both excited, screaming so hard. I swear I was feeling like my throat was swollen. At the end, Harry caught the snitch, Dean turn to look at me, and hug me before I could say a word; that was a very short hug, but it has been the best of my life.  
Anyway, Lavender agree to go to the Yule Ball with me, and I think it's fine. I have known her since my first year, we were always being friends, so I think that we will have a good time. However, I hope she does not want to kiss me. I was listen some girls talk, and they all say they will kiss their partners. It's not that I think that Lavender is ugly, because I know that she is beautiful, it's just that, well you know, I do not like her. I would like my first kiss, which I know will not be with Dean, to be with someone special.  
\- How do I look? Dean ask me when he came out of the bathroom. He wears a robe of bottle black, and he looks handsome, his eyes shine.  
\- Great. I say without being able to stop looking at him.  
When I look at his pink lips and his long neck, I can only think about kissing him. I want to kiss his lips right now.  
\- You look good too. Dean says, turning his back on me and going back to the bathroom.  
I Turn to look at me in the mirror, I must stop thinking about Dean that way, I cannot spend the whole night wanting to fill his face with saliva every time I see him. Moreover, I'm supposed to go with Lavender, as much as I want to deny it, I'm supposed to be thinking about kissing Lavender right now.  
Even though I tried, I could not see Lavender in the same way I saw Dean. It's that because for my eyes there is nothing more perfect than Dean; his dark skin, the way his gestures when he speaks, and how subtle and smooth it is his voice. Therefore, while I was watched him dance with his date I started to felt sick, we should be danced together at that moment or maybe we should be sat, held hands.  
The feel like I'm tired of hiding who I am, I wish I could tell him, so I no longer should pretend that I want to be with a girl.  
\- I'm leaving. I tell Lavender when Dean come back to our table.  
\- Wait. Dean say, following me.  
\- What? I scream him crossing arms.  
I feel angry with him even though I should not, he has not promise me anything, I'm even here because I want.  
\- You should not leave Lavender just like that, say goodbye. He says holding me by the hand and pushing me back to the table.  
What the hill does Dean care if I say goodbye or not, what the hill I care about Lavender.  
Dean came back to the room with me, I do not know if he did it because he is tired, or if he just wants to follow me. I threw myself into bed as soon as we arrive, I feel too tired, as if I had been carrying a huge weight all night, and maybe I did; maybe my secret weighs more than I think.  
Dean seat next to me and I don’t say anything, my eyes are killing me and I prefer to keep it close. Then, he put his hand on my back, almost in the butt, he moves it up and down, like a caress. I feel so comfortable, as if I am in a dream, hallucinating rather. When I hear his sweetie voice calling my name, was enough; I turned quickly to look at him, we are very close, that close that almost I could smell his breath.  
\- Were you afraid to kiss? He asks me.  
\- What? I ask with a hole in the chest, I’m very nervous.  
\- Yes, that's why you wanted to leave, because you did not want to kiss her. He says moving in the bed to be more comfortable, I suppose.  
\- No, I do not know. I tell him without knowing what else to say.  
The truth is that I was afraid that Lavender would kiss me. However, it is not the only reason for that I wanted to leave.  
\- Me too, I just do not feel ready. He says Humidifying his lips, those beautiful lips.  
\- I does. I say almost without thinking, right now in my mind, I just can imagine me kissing him.  
\- So? Why did you leave? He wants to know while he stands up.  
\- I do not like her. I tell him while I am filling my heart with courage. I will tell; I will tell him that I like boys.  
\- But, she is very cute. Dean say removing his robe, and standing in front my semi naked.  
In this same moment, I forget what I’m going to say.  
\- But ... I babble looking at His belly button, his abdomen, his neck, his skin.  
I am feeling that my words are escapes, my air is vanishing.  
\- I guess she's not your type. Dean tell me taking off his pants.  
My God, his legs. Now, I am discovering that I love Dean Thomas's legs.  
\- No ... I say while Dean walk to the bathroom, and thanks God, because I do not know if I can hide the bud between my pants for a longer time.  
When he left I running to downstairs, and I put myself into the closet f the common room. Then, I take a breath and I lower my pants, I must confess that I’m already a pro doing this. I am thinking in: Dean's lips, Dean kissing me, me kissing his lips and neck, and Dean touching me. I am thinking in me playing music with every part of his body. My breathing increase, the beating of my heart became so strong that I afraid that someone listen me, but I don’t stop of touch myself.  
At this point, every day it becomes harder to hide what I feel for Dean.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys like it. dont forget comment.


End file.
